• The 56,000 tickets for the official Super Bowl celebration in Green Bay sold out within hours after going on sale last Monday, which is almost exactly how long it took those fans to contract frostbite during the ceremony Tuesday.
• This year’s Super Bowl set a record for TV ratings…which means an unprecedented number of viewers got to see Eminem sell out over the course of four hours.
• Apparently oversinging three-quarters of the national anthem does not magically make forgotten lyrics reappear. Christina Aguilera can attest.
• Taking a page out of Mike McCarthy’s book, Al Davis has decided to get his front office fitted for dunce caps prior to the 2011 NFL draft.
• Jerry Sloan has decided to retire after 30 years of coaching. Sloan plans to go back to his old job at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company in Bedrock.
• Hey, look! It’s Tron: Super Bowl Edition, starring the Black Eyed Peas.
• Jerry Jones has officially gone from a figurative pain in the ass to a literal pain in the ass for the NFL.
• After convincingly winning Super Bowl MVP honors, Aaron Rodgers has stepped out of Brett Favre’s shadow. Favre’s shadow will now move on to play for a division rival until it is forced into a painful retirement.
• The Cavaliers set the record for NBA awfulness by losing to the Dallas Mavericks last Tuesday. A Cleveland product has not taken such a sudden ratings hit since Drew Carey tried to replace Bob Barker on The Price is Right.
• Despite his recent request, the Texas Rangers remain steadfast in their unwillingness to trade Michael Young. This comes as a big blow for teams looking to obtain a declining former infielder with mediocre-at-best defensive capabilities.
• The Los Angeles Dodgers plan to wear throwback uniforms for the upcoming season. Fans have expressed excitement over the opportunity to flash back to a time before the McCourts.
• Andy Pettite has decided to retire from baseball, and the New York Yankees have decided to retire their playoff aspirations for 2011.
• The NFL Players Association and owners have canceled the second day of their labor bargaining session citing “cooties” and people acting like “stupid heads” as the reason.
• Former University of Michigan quarterback Tate Forcier has decided to transfer to Miami, where keeping the bench warm won’t be quite as difficult.
• Congratulations to Frank de la Torre of Oxnard for winning the Poetry Out Loud: National Recitation Contest Ventura County competition. Way to keep the spoken word alive, Frank!
More next week…
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To reach Michael Green, click here.
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